As I lay in my bed last night, I thought to myself- “Golly gee, I sure hope we get to that Pet Shop Boys concert really early so we can get a good spot, since the tickets were just general admission.” -WTF? Where did that come from? I kid you not. That actually happened. As soon as the errant musing wafted in one side of my head and out the other, I realized that I must have been dreaming, even though I didn’t know I had fallen asleep. I have no idea if the Pet Shop Boys are still a band, or if they are touring, and even if they were, I wouldn’t go any farther than my own front yard to see them. I have so few concert dollars, I must save them for my favorites.
That got me thinking. Why is the brain so weird? Why does it do that? The human brain is the most complex thing ever created by nature, right? Capable of making you fall asleep, just so it can mess with you while you’re unconscious?
Maybe The B52’s said it best in their lyrics for the song Detour Through Your Mind:
Your brain is an ever changing kaleidoscope of moods and colours
We walk in the park but it’s melting in the dark
All of a sudden your mood changes and your face looks like a cake left out in the rain
Is your name MacArthur Parker? Or is it Reba?
Not only does it make your brain look highly attractive, with its ever changing colors, but also shows a glimpse into its function. How it can jump randomly from one meaningless thought to another. No warning, no reason. It just does. It also scores a jab at that ridiculous old tune McArthur Park, which in itself is one mind-blowing trip to absolutely nowhere.
So, as a brain does, it made me jump right across to this string of oddball thoughts: Is that why zombies like to eat them? Because brains are so wonderful and fascinating? So elusive? So unwilling to give up their secrets? Does a zombie have a brain? Is a zombie trying to re-capture its own humanity by eating a brain? Can a zombie actually have such a lofty goal? You can see that my brain does most of its thinking in questions.
I know we have all pondered these thoughts more than once. Of course in the zombie world, a human is a tasty animal, but why does the brain stand far above the rest of our succulent body parts? You would think for sheer size and muscle mass, the thigh or butt region would be more desirable, but apparently not. Brains are a highly sought after delicacy for the discriminating undead. But why?
I know there are a lot of really smart people out there who devote their lives to discovering the secrets of the human brain, and I’m obviously not one of them. I haven’t consulted any of them for this writing, but in my quest to find the answer regarding why zombies eat brains, I ran across a multitude of theories:
1 They don’t eat brains, they merely “bite” them to spread the virus. -I don’t know about this one. Do they want to make more zombies, really? Doesn’t that leave less food for the rest of them?
2-It’s a myth. Zombies enjoy all manner of human flesh, each for its distinct flavor. Maybe it’s like the difference between light and dark meat when regarding chicken preferences.
3-Apparently, in Return Of The Living Dead, a zombie states that it hurts to be dead, and eating brains relieves the pain. Really? Gray matter as an analgesic? Maybe a zombie said this, but if so, I think it’s just plain stupid for more than one reason. Can a zombie vocalize their desires in such a manner? If so, this rationale debunks everything I thought I knew about zombies. Vampires–now those are some Mensa type dead folks. Not zombies.
So, my burning question not only goes unanswered, but in seeking the truth I have to wonder if my question is even valid in the first place. A google image search for zombies brings up all sorts of brain related pictures. But if you Google “Why do zombies eat brains?” There is no one clear answer. Do zombies really eat brains, and if so, why are they so delicious? If they don’t, then why would zombie grandmas want to immortalize them in their jello molds?
Alright readers. I am asking for your help. Anyone who is an expert on the brain, zombies or even The Pet Shop Boys please chime in with your thoughts. I would love to hear them.