Thursday Haiku Madness!

Today my friends is Thursday Haiku Madness at The Cheeky Diva.  

Woooooo HOOOOO! Run around naked  

Today is the day where you post your best and worst and most excellent haikus here, just in case you have no where else to put them.  Or even if they’ve been published or laughed at and shunned in a previous life.  I don’t really care where they came from, or how good or bad they are.  I just want them all.  Here.  Now… so finish reading and start writing/posting/commenting.  All participants get a cookie.  That’s a lie. 

Here are the “rules” regarding haiku~

From Wikipedia:

Haiku in English is a development of the Japanese haiku poetic form in the English language.

Contemporary haiku are written in many languages, but most poets outside of Japan are concentrated in the English-speaking countries[citation needed].

It is impossible to single out any current style, format, or subject matter as definitive. Some of the more common[citation needed] practices in English include:

English haiku do not adhere to the strict syllable count found in Japanese haiku,[1] and the typical length of haiku appearing in the main English-language journals is 10–14 syllables.[2][3] Some haiku poets are concerned with their haiku being expressed in one breath[4][5][6] and the extent to which their haiku focus on “showing” as opposed to “telling”.[7][8] Haiku uses an economy of words to paint a multi-tiered painting, without “telling all”.[9] Or as Matsuo Bashō puts it, “The haiku that reveals seventy to eighty percent of its subject is good. Those that reveal fifty to sixty percent, we never tire of.”[10]

Yawn!!!!!! We don’t follow rules here, but  the 5-7-5 is great.  If you wanna use the seasonal imagery, that’s fine too.  I’m not going to bother with that myself.  Authority be damned.    Please fill this page up with yours.  I’m dying to read them.    Real poets, my apologies.  I sincerely hope this does not cause the decline and demise of poetry as an art form.  Here are a few that I was inspired to put down this morning:

What the hell is that?

Please don’t make me eat that

I had a big lunch


Shut the goddam door

Am I heating the outside?

Who pays the gas bill?


Homework isn’t done?

Aren’t you a little loser?

1st grade is so hard


You are such an ass

should have listened to my mom

Why are you still here?


I need some new clothes

I’ve become such a lard ass

I want a cookie 

Okay, your turn! 

111 thoughts on “Thursday Haiku Madness!

  1. Woke up in a ditch…
    Bloody katana in hand…
    Sushi in my hair…

    Turning Japanese…
    I’m wearing a kimono…
    Why did I Haiku?…

    How did I get here?…
    I’m all art-side-of-the-brain…
    Why did I Haiku?…
    I guessthat the tradition does not ususally include multiple verses, but what do I know? I will now go drink tea and paint cherry blossoms.

  2. Well, I found my favorite haiku (a Japanese poet Moriya Sen’an)

    Bury me when I die
    Beneath a wine barrel
    in a tavern.
    With luck
    the cask will leak.

    A smutty one:

    The crisp autumn leaves
    Crinkle underneath my back
    You’re all teeth and tongue

    • Nice one! No I can’t take credit for that refrigerator haiku. It’s been around the interweb for years. I laugh every time I see it. My son found it on Stumble Upon quite a while ago and showed it to me because he knew it was just my speed. Stupid, odd and an inanimate object with a goofy smile. Thanks for playing! Now go tell all your friends! ;-)

    • Not that I’m aware of, but you can always suggest one via twitter at @freshly_pressed ha ha. Glad you enjoyed the comments. As usual, they were far more entertaining than anything I wrote.

    • Not that I’m aware of, but you can always suggest one via twitter at @freshly_pressed ha ha. Glad you enjoyed the comments. As usual, they were far more entertaining than anything I wrote.

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