We had so much fun here yesterday, didn’t we? The audience participation was a huge success, and I appreciate all of your great haikus and comments. For those of you who missed it, please step out of the lame and into the light by clicking here. Dust off your existential musings, gentle readers, Thursday Haiku Madness! will now be a weekly event, and I will gladly post links to your previous 5-7-5 nuggets of genius on my page if you alert me to them. Ahem…let’s move on to new business.
We all have them. Your most embarrassing moments. Your epic fails. Days when you are not on your game, and all your friends are thankful that you are not a brain surgeon or an air traffic controller. So what should you do with those moments that you’d like to forget ever happened? Well, sheeeeeeeet, you can post them here. In fact, this is an invitation for you to do just that!
Welcome to Friday FAIL Funnies!!! One more thing to waste your time each and every week! I’ll even be nice. I will ask you to post the runner up. Your 2nd most embarrassing moment. I’ll earn your trust and confidence by sharing one of my own to get you started. Yay for you! –Aren’t you proud of me? I have matured so much in the last couple of days. I didn’t promise cookies or porn. I am “empathizing” and “identifying with” my audience. I’m so smooth at this, I firmly believe you will hardly miss the lack of “valuable content” here, if you even notice its absence at all.
Once upon a time, last summer, Prince Charming and I embarked on a long journey to one of my favorite places in all the land. It took us many hours to get there, but it is always worth a long and bumpy carriage ride.
As any princess who’s worth her weight in diamonds (like myself) knows, a long and bumpy carriage ride is very tough on a delicate royal bladder. Shortly after arriving at our destination, I needed to visit the ladies room, and FAST. As always, Freddy’s was packed with people and it appeared that we would have to wait a hundred years to obtain our charred animal flesh ambrosia. I left my handsome escort in charge of ordering a #4 with everything for me; should we be blessed with reaching the Altar Of Requests before my return.
When I rejoined my darling in the line, now ready to re-fill myself with an 87 oz Diet Pepsi, I noticed that the peasants were all looking at me like I had a third eyeball growing out of my forehead. Had they identified me as the heir to the throne, perhaps?
“Why is everyone staring at me, Prince Charming?” I asked with eyelashes batting alluringly.
“Because you just came out of the men’s room, you dork.”
- Before They Were Hot: The Most Embarrassing Celebrity Yearbook Photos (hollywood.com)
- Woman in Hulk Hogan’s sex tape ‘devastated’ over leak (contactmusic.com)
- AP: “an embarrassing moment” – NBC’s Today skips 9/11 moment for Kardashian (riehlworldview.com)
- 25 Things You Need To Forget About (thoughtcatalog.com)