As many of you know, it is now Movember. That special time of year where we are asked to grow a mustache for one month. Why on Earth would you want to do that? For those of you who don’t know just what Movember is…..
Movember is the month when people the world over use that mustache, their blog pages, their time and their donations to raise awareness and funds to battle men’s health issues. Most notably, prostate and testicular cancer. I have wanted to get on board with this in some way, but until this morning I had no idea how one as shallow as myself could tackle such sensitive, serious and life threatening issues. How could Your Cheekyness post about these very real issues and maintain the cheek? I think I figured it out. In my own twisted way, I will address one of the easiest and most important things that can be done to save your health and lengthen your life–prevention and early detection. Please see your doctor for regular check ups.
This post is to honor my own father, who sadly died at the age of 52, from something that may have been prevented if he had been under the care of a physician. Here’s hoping that all the great folks who support and spread Movember can save a Dad today.
Please read, read the related articles, write you own Movember post, donate to one or more of the causes that support the treatment and eradication of these terrible killers, and grow your own damn mustache.
Okay, let the post begin!~
In the beginning there was Man. Well, not at the very beginning, but you know what I mean. Man was strong! GRRRR! Man was powerful. Man hunted, Man killed, Man provided, and Man protected. That made Man proud. Too proud. Too proud to seek medical attention and therefore- appear weak.
I am invincible! I am MAN. There is nothing wrong with me. I’m fine. Now get out there and skin that Woolly Mammoth I killed for you. Chew that hide well, woman, I want that new loin cloth to be extra soft and comfy.
Even Homer’s epic hero, Ulysses Everett McGill, was so prideful that he was jailed for practicing dentistry without a license. And then he got hit by a train.
As a result of this enormous pride, or Hummus, as the Geeks liked to call it, Man croaked early, like a whole buncha times, with no explanation.
That must be why Charles Darwin invented women when he made up the theory of relativity. To nag man into seeing the doctor, or the barber, as the guy who cut your hair used to be the local medical expert.
In those days, the barber of Seville would cut you open and bleed you, or put leeches all over you to suck the poison out. If your owie was especially bad, you’d get the good stuff. A poltergeist made out of dung and puke. Not very effective, but hey, at least the guy was trying. While medical care did advance,..slowly… Man continued to avoid going to see the Shaman, the Medicine Man, the Voodoo Priestess or that barber.
During the middle ages, medicine and science in general were thought to be Hennessey, and that those who tried to advance technology were in league with The Devil. Hangings, beheadings, witch burning; oh, those were the days. If you knew of an herb that would save someone’s life, you better just keep your mouth shut, or you would be the Execution Du Jour for your backward thinking little hamlet.
Okay Medieval Man, I’ll give you a break here, the Black Death, combined with ignorance and the fear of God kept you away from your local HMO. Kings and peasants alike were not immune to these detriments to your long-term health.
It wasn’t until the 1800′s when Dr. Frankenstein and his contemporaries started experimenting with dissected cadavers that medical breakthroughs really began to happen.
Bodies were not yet donated for the benefit of study, so the dead had to be stolen. The dirty work was done by grave robbers. I know the thought is repulsive, and you prefer to have your scientific corpses nice and clean and stored in a top-notch research facility, but get off your high horse and thank these dregs of humanity.
Without them, anatomy and medicine would not be where it is today. The doctors of the Victorian era risked life, health and career to study these specimens, so shame on you for poo-pooing the symbiotic mad doctor/grave robber relationship.
But YOU..yes you 19th century man, were more interested in filling your opulent home with stolen artifacts from your trip to Egypt and hopping on the wildly popular “Spiritualism” movement ~ talking to your dead friends through a medium~friends who were probably dead because they were too pompous and fancy to go to the doctor!
It’s ironic, that the man who blew the lid off of the charlatans of Spiritualism, the much beloved Harry Houdini, died as a result of failing to seek medical attention. Many conflicting reports surrounded his death, but what really killed him was rampant, unattended infection due to an ignored appendicitis. We all know Harry Houdini was a genius, and master of self promotion, just a total dumbass when it came to self-preservation. Please, do not follow in his footsteps. Thank you so much for reading all the way to the end, and please support Movember any way you can.
- Happy Movember! (about.me)
- 21 Movember Accessories for Women – From Facial Hair Neck Warmers to Mustache Earrings (TrendHunter.com) (trendhunter.com)
- Tennessee Chiropractor to Grow Mustache During Movember to Support Men’s Health Awareness (prweb.com)
- Supporting Movember (citygirlvibe.com)
- Movember: Changing the face of men’s health – Confused.com (confused.com)