Happy Thursday folks! I think we all know what day it is. SQUEEEEE! Today is Thursday Haiku Madness at The Cheeky Diva. For those of you who are new to this stupendous weekly feature, here’s the drill:
A-I write stupid Haikus
2-You laugh and chortle and roll your eyes
D-You write your own stupid Haikus in the comments section. Do it! It’s wildly popular, and all the cool kids are doing it. I mean it. If you are here, and you don’t write a Haiku, someone will beat the shit out of you on the playground later.
Usually, my Haikus are all over the place like a 2-year-old who ate a bag of sugar. That actually happened at my house once. It’s not a pretty sight.
Today, however, I will be a grown up. After all, I did lure you here like a Sireeen, by telling you this is the “special edition”. The Cheeky Diva has been asked by LeClown to host his blog on Sunday as this week’s guest blogger at A Clown On Fire.
She told me she would steal my nose if I didn’t let her host.
I know, right! Are you as excited as I am???? Probably not, but keep reading.
Since guest blogging is a serious business, and I am undeserving of the honor, today for our special edition, we are going to do Haikus the right way. A few pals have tried to remind me that Haikus should have nature imagery in them. I have scoffed at and ignored this little point–and will continue to do so–but not today.
Today I am alllll about doing things by the rules. I already feel like a puppy in a burlap bag. But, in the interest of being taken seriously, I will endure the trappings of poetic form. Today, the Haikus will be all about nature. Now that I have narrowed the field and cut your creativity off at the knees, let’s get to the good stuff….er the crappy Haikus.
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Stupid Little Tree
“Lovely Spring Blossoms” my ass!
All thorns and berries
***************
I hate the winter
hate it, hate it, HATE IT GRRRR!
Maybe I should move
***************
It’s so nice outside
Good day to frolic naked
And spend night in jail
***************
High winds and snowy
followed by 80 degrees
That’s Nebraska folks!
**************
Bare and naked trees
you look so freakin scrawny
Put your leaves back on!
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Okay, your turn! And don’t forget to stop by A Clown On Fire Sunday to see the damage I can do over there!
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Haiku is what you make it
Seven syllables
All over the place I am.
Ooh! Changed it up you did!
Aren’t you a cheeky fellow?
This isn’t eve a haiku, but who cares?
Diva,
You mean 7-5-7 isn’t a haiku?
I say push the envelop, and play with the form.
Le Clown
You have the power
To do it your own way friend
We all love your words
I will follow you
Wherever you shall lead me
I am a lemming
Yuck yuck
The words flow past my vision,
the pics zip across my sight
Please stop waving my laptop.
Mr Guap is here!
Thanks for leaving your poem!
Haiku? Do I care?
There’s frost on my car,
Same as you, I hate winter.
Jamaica sounds good.
It certainly does!
Cabana boys and sunsets
Where do I sign up?
Winter is foggy.
Foggy is cold and dreary.
Can’t get out of bed.
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Mustache on my face
Cheeky Diva seems to like
Looks to me like dung
At least you’re a guy
Stash looks creepy on Diva
But, I wear with pride
Have a diff’rent stash
A special one for Sunday
With red nose even!
So sad I am now
Missing your Sunday Haiku
Being off the grid
Congratulations!
Guest blogging on Le Clown – Wow!
I hate winter too.
He’s my new bestie!
I’m as stoked as stoked can be!
LeClown groupie, me
There is no-way-Jose I can write Haiku. I can’t even write bad Haiku. But Haiku-dos to you!
Ha! Breaking the rules for a compliment is totally acceptable. You are handing my fat saggy ass to me in our game by the way. Haikus are no help in scrabble. Your turn my friend.
You thought you were all sassy-pants with that last move. Ha! Read ‘em and weep. Now your move.
I see that! I am humbled and reeling. Did you read the craptastic poem I just wrote? I can blog AND get my ass kicked at the same time! All while “working” at my “real” job. Pffftttt! I’m a ninja!
Nature? That’s a rule?
Damn, I really never knew.
TREES! There. Now I’m good.
Bah, screw it, I say
Haiku is what you make it
LEAVES! (Just to be safe.)
Can’t wait till Sunday
I like using syllables
They’re totally fun
Getting good at this
3 weeks makes me an expert
In my mind only
It’s probably not fair to razz you about your lack of nature imagery, when I write smut, and it’s easy to throw some in there. Ex:
The dark secret earth
I search with my hands to find
The sprouted mushroom
Really, think about it, flowers are straight sex. They’re fancy colorful reproductive organs, looking for the right pollinator.
Hey hey hey, missy! We’ll have none of that here! This blog is squeaky clean. Ok, whatever, you know that’s bullshit. Always love your comments. Clean or smutty.
I’ll try and keep it smutty.
Woooo Hooo!!!!
Spring forward, fall back?
Still the sun will rise and set
On its own damn time.
Is the sun nature? Or is that more like astronomy? I don’t want to be accused of cheating.
Um, I think so. I was going to write one about men landing on the moon, and whether or not it was a hoax, and then I got distracted by tapioca pudding. Nice one! Thanks.
Ah, dammit Cheeky
Forgot to pops me-self in
to drop a Haiku!
The leaves have fallen
I long for the warmth again
Of the summer sun…
Two very nice poems. Thank you!
Nice!
chill in my old bones
miserable moody wench
blustery shite snow
(sorry I am late)
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