Hey crazy people! Let’s write some more bad poems about food!

hot steamy

frothy creamy

I don’t get you very often

To see you in that special bowl

can make my will power soften

*****

You were skinned alive

and chopped and boiled and mashed

and then were drowned in gravy

*****

all so I could fill my belly

with your yummy tater goodness

now get your self up on that spoon

and come to momma, baby

Mushroom Gravy Macro

Mushroom Gravy Macro (Photo credit: Telephone Melts)

Here are some favorites to inspire you. ┬áLet me hear your love for…

Fish sticks

Artichokes

Tripe

Aspic

Or whatever………………

Mmmmmmmm! wiggly jiggly goodness!

Another food masterpiece from the wee hours of this morning

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35 thoughts on “Hey crazy people! Let’s write some more bad poems about food!

  1. Here eyes are narrowed
    The stare-down begins
    They’ll be loser in this war
    Much to my chagrin

    Do as you’re told
    Don’t make me mad
    Give them a chance
    They’re not that bad

    A tentative poke with a fork
    Moves them around on the plate
    Is it me or is it the food…
    Not sure which more she hates

    You’ll sit there till they’re gone
    Comes the age-old threat from dad
    But all that serves to do
    Is just make her even more mad

    Starve then… I don’t care
    Daughter thumps away… no more fuss
    The fries are gone at least
    I guess that’s a plus

    About fourteen of ‘em left over
    What to do, what’s the fix?
    The dog stares at me and his tail wags
    I guess he’ll eat those fucking fish sticks

    • This was brilliant! Thank you so much for taking the time to write such an epic poem. And boy, did it bring back memories. I had one kid that never ate anything! It’s a wonder he’s still alive. But, he’s 22 and a veteran, having served a year in Kuwait. So, I can be a proud Army mom and forget that he’s a picky eater.

      • We’re both mad men!

        I got the greatest compliment today! My husband called me a savant! He’s so nice, he made sure the “idiot” was silent.

        This is going to be so much fun!!!! Bummer you have to work tomorrow, I will be chained to this thing, replying to comments at Le Clown Ville. (I hope)

  2. I have never read an ode to mashed potatoes before, but this made me weep with joy. And now here’s mine:

    Wonderful hot dogs
    Delicious tubes of meat

    I smother you with mustard
    And ketchup, then I eat

    I think Nathans are my faves
    But all franks get my raves

    • Thank you Mrs. Weebles. This may be the last comment I answer. It has come to my attention recently, like within the last hour or so, that people think I’m crazy.

      So now I must take down my blog and disappear forever. I will go away to a far off place and you will never hear from me again.

      But first, I will stop at KFC and spend all my money on whatever mashed potatoes they can russle up for my journey.

      Sigh….goodbye cruel world, and hey! Thanks for the poem!

    • Delightfully silly? Music to my ears, new friend and follower. I’m all about the silly! Mr. Le Clown has brought me many new friends who love silly, and I am eternally grateful. :-)

      Thank you so kindly!

  3. Pingback: More Bad Poems About Food~Yay!!!! « The Cheeky Diva

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