Hey crazy people! Let’s write some more bad poems about food!

hot steamy

frothy creamy

I don’t get you very often

To see you in that special bowl

can make my will power soften


You were skinned alive

and chopped and boiled and mashed

and then were drowned in gravy


all so I could fill my belly

with your yummy tater goodness

now get your self up on that spoon

and come to momma, baby

Mushroom Gravy Macro

Mushroom Gravy Macro (Photo credit: Telephone Melts)

Here are some favorites to inspire you. ┬áLet me hear your love for…

Fish sticks




Or whatever………………

Mmmmmmmm! wiggly jiggly goodness!

Another food masterpiece from the wee hours of this morning

35 thoughts on “Hey crazy people! Let’s write some more bad poems about food!

  1. Here eyes are narrowed
    The stare-down begins
    They’ll be loser in this war
    Much to my chagrin

    Do as you’re told
    Don’t make me mad
    Give them a chance
    They’re not that bad

    A tentative poke with a fork
    Moves them around on the plate
    Is it me or is it the food…
    Not sure which more she hates

    You’ll sit there till they’re gone
    Comes the age-old threat from dad
    But all that serves to do
    Is just make her even more mad

    Starve then… I don’t care
    Daughter thumps away… no more fuss
    The fries are gone at least
    I guess that’s a plus

    About fourteen of ’em left over
    What to do, what’s the fix?
    The dog stares at me and his tail wags
    I guess he’ll eat those fucking fish sticks

    • This was brilliant! Thank you so much for taking the time to write such an epic poem. And boy, did it bring back memories. I had one kid that never ate anything! It’s a wonder he’s still alive. But, he’s 22 and a veteran, having served a year in Kuwait. So, I can be a proud Army mom and forget that he’s a picky eater.

      • We’re both mad men!

        I got the greatest compliment today! My husband called me a savant! He’s so nice, he made sure the “idiot” was silent.

        This is going to be so much fun!!!! Bummer you have to work tomorrow, I will be chained to this thing, replying to comments at Le Clown Ville. (I hope)

  2. I have never read an ode to mashed potatoes before, but this made me weep with joy. And now here’s mine:

    Wonderful hot dogs
    Delicious tubes of meat

    I smother you with mustard
    And ketchup, then I eat

    I think Nathans are my faves
    But all franks get my raves

    • Thank you Mrs. Weebles. This may be the last comment I answer. It has come to my attention recently, like within the last hour or so, that people think I’m crazy.

      So now I must take down my blog and disappear forever. I will go away to a far off place and you will never hear from me again.

      But first, I will stop at KFC and spend all my money on whatever mashed potatoes they can russle up for my journey.

      Sigh….goodbye cruel world, and hey! Thanks for the poem!

    • Delightfully silly? Music to my ears, new friend and follower. I’m all about the silly! Mr. Le Clown has brought me many new friends who love silly, and I am eternally grateful. :-)

      Thank you so kindly!

  3. Pingback: More Bad Poems About Food~Yay!!!! « The Cheeky Diva

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