If I was given a “do-over”, would I take it?

What a lovely back drop for such heavy thinking. Honeymoon photo, at the Eluvial Fan at Rocky Mountain National Park. May 2012

“Go back in time to an event you think could have played out differently for you. Let alternate history have its moment: tell us what could, would or should have happened?”

Once again, the WP Daily Prompt Post Challenge via our pal Story Wrangler Michelle has got me looking a lot deeper inside myself than I had planned to do today, and once again, it’s making me squirm.

Since my life, like most lives, is a zig-zag of choices, good and bad, some I made, some others made for me; it’s hard to not only answer this challenge, but to pick one event I’d like to change.

There are some HUGE things I did wrong or reacted poorly to.  Some decisions changed the course of my live irrevocably. Not all of those decisions were mine.

Instead of meeting this challenge head on, I guess I will, in my own clunky way, tap dance around it.

I’ve spent the last few years trying to atone for the mistakes that shaped my life.  To get myself back on the road I should have followed all along.   To put myself on a path of happiness and peace of mind.

The way this whole life thing has ended up for me is at this moment more than I could have hoped possible ten years ago.

But, had I the choice to change something major?  Would I do it?  Then the parts of my life that turned out wonderful and miraculous would not have happened, as I would have been otherwise engaged.  I would not be right here, right now, living my life as it is and feeling satisfied and happy.  

My three strapping sons, of whom I am so very, very proud wouldn’t be here if I had done things differently.  Those three young men are my shining achievement.  My legacy.  If life had taken me elsewhere, the world would never have known them.  

So, while I am filled with remorse or regret for many things done or undone, there is no way I would take back being the mother of my children.   

Life has come full circle for me.  I am finally where I belong, in a very real introspective, new-agey bullshit sort of way.  Karma seemed to smile on me for whatever reason.  

So, Ms.Wannado-over? Pants:

The answer would have to be “Thanks, but No Thanks.”  

11 thoughts on “If I was given a “do-over”, would I take it?

  1. I couldn’t agree more. There are things I probably should have done differently, but in reality, life is messy. And the mistakes are part of it.

    Sidenote: This has nothing to do with me taking an incomplete in Spanish 231 and then meeting my sister-in-law on the second go-around…

  2. I was thinking about this a lot lately and I love your take on it. I agree – I am proudest of my two dudes, and if I had made other choices, I may not have had them. Thanks, but no thanks is the perfect answer. :)

    • All other things in life pale in comparison to our kids, don’t they? Even if other choices may have made life happier for us on a self serving level. That’s what it means to be a mom, I guess. Thanks for your comment! :-)

    • Why thank you! What a nice thing to say. I needed that. Having one of those days. I appreciate that you stopped by and want to read more–I have to warn you, most everything here is pretty silly. only once in a while does a DP challenge make me be serious and stuff. :-)

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