I’m getting blisters patting myself on the back here, so groan and roll your eyes all you want. You think I really care? Of course I do!!! Are you kidding? You guys are the ones that totally puff up my ego to a nasty tumor sized level. What would I do without you???? Okay, on with the poem…
~~~~~~~
10,000 hits approaches
Can I do it by Thanksgiving?
Wish I could shuck this crappy job
And take up blogging for a living
~~~~~~~
1000 likes I passed today
and a handful of new follows!
It’s got me thinking that I’m all that
(In the warm fuzzy glow she wallows)
~~~~~~~
I’d like to thank you all, my poor long suffering readers
Who dare to skim these nonsensical pages
Random, silly, stupid, and shallow, Oy!
Sorry folks, here you don’t get wisdom for the ages
~~~~~~~
You keep coming back and I eat it up
As my power and influence grows
Soon the mediocre shall rule the world
(Like a raving lunatic she crows)
~~~~~~~~
A mere 4 months I’ve been your friend
In this vast and wonderful blog-o-sphere
I still can’t believe the crap that I say
Is something that you want to hear
~~~~~~~~
Now dear friends, I must ask you
While I have you in my grasp
What should I do, oh meek little me
To accomplish my mountainous task?
~~~~~~~~
What pearls of drivel should fall from my lips
To grab that 10,000 hit prize?
With what manner of “meaningful content”
Should I attempt to assault your eyes?
~~~~~~~
Six days isn’t long, but I think if I try I can do it
my friends, but of course your help is needed
I’m asking for some sage advice
and I promise it will be heeded
~~~~~~~~
More poems? More Stories? Just oddball musings?
Perhaps some more Mark Gormley?
Please tell me, oh wise ones, what shall I write?
I value your thoughts, and for them all I thank you warmly
~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for allowing me to shallowly beg for pity clicks and indulging me with your ideas for inspiration
By the way, tomorrow we will start this quest with MORE BAD POEMS ABOUT FOOD! YAY!!!!
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Congrats on all the likes
Thank you ! Any ideas for an old lady?
An old lady who wants to grow old with her feet up or an old lady who wants to try and reclaim her youth and pull some young guys?
well, I do have to put my feet up a lot, and my husband IS three months younger than I am, so I could probably work with that. Thanks!
Three months younger? Does that make you a cougar then? hehehe
Oh he thinks so. We just got married a few months ago, so “Cougar Bride” is one of his favorite prhrases. Funny guy I married.
You are kicking a**… rock on… awesomesausage!!!
Awesomesausage? Arthur, is that what you want me to write about?
Thanks by the way.
Not a suggestion… just a comment.
Dammit! I was thinking that would really tie into the whole bad poems about food thing. I might just do it anyway.
I just don’t think that awesome sauce covered it well enough.
Well, I’ll be dipped! You’re too kind! why don’t they have a blushy smiley face or something?
Dipped in awesome sauce? Ha.
Duh?
Precisely…?
Glad we understand each other.
I was just thinking that…
Did you read today’s post? I wrote about you and awesomesausage! You have to check it out!
On my way.
I thought I was following you already, but it says I wasn’t so now I am… I love the poem, but the picture is just plain…ummm awesomeweenie… how the heck do you spell weenie anyway? weinie…wienie?ahhhhh
I don’t know what the correct spelling of “weenie” is. But when I Googled “awesomesausage”, that’s one of the pics I got. You’re following me? Quit following me. No wait, don’t quit following me.
I promise not to stare at your backside…
YAY!!!!! Don’t forgot us little people when you’re hugely famous! : )
I’m sorry, what was your name again?
I get it. I really do! I would totally forget the little people. I would be drunk with fame and power all the time. It would be fantastic. For now I will be happy to live vicariously through you.
Oh crap! Who do you think you’re talking to here? Adlibb3D? Now that’s a guy who’s gone mad with fame. Your comment just made me spit out my coffee, by the way. Thanks! Don’t forget to deposit your awful food related poem in the comments section of today’s post!
Congrats on your success, Cheeky! Well done.
Thanks! Here’s to many more years of inane, stream of consciousness bullshit for your reading enjoyment (?)
“As my power and influence grows
Soon the mediocre shall rule the world”
You’re not mediocre. If anything, you’re a leader, that’s why people listen to you. That’s why people read your stuff.
You’re awesome and congratulations on your success. The world would be a better place if the people who are considered “mediocre” right now, would rule the world.
That’s quite a compliment, thank you so much! Yeah, I might have to agree. “Everyman” kind of knows what it’s like to really live in the real world that the great ones lay out for us, don’t we?
Congratulations! and oddball musings oddball musings!!
One vote for oddball musings! Coming right up. How goes the writing???
More bad poems about food! I can’t wait.
Yay! Later this morning my friend. Tripe, and Haggis and Awesomesausage (Thank you Arthur) are on this morning’s list of honored food stuffs. Thanks for the vote!
A challenge! A contest! Truth or dares!
Ooohhh~ Those all sound like fun. Mondays and Thursdays are tied up, and it looks like Saturday has become the day for bad poems about food, but I think I can squeeze your ideas into a different day. Thanks for the suggestion and for following! I will try not to disappoint you and make it worth your while to stop here.
Thanks- I am beholden to participate! You can also put it out for readers to challenge YOU on a day.
Oh wow! Where have you been all my li-ey-i-li-ey-ife? As Rhianna would say. That is a great idea. Better than wracking my brain trying to think of words that rhyme with “haggis”.
1,000 likes? 10,000 hits by Thanksgiving and you’ve been blogging a mere four months?!! Ack! I hate you!
Wow! It’s kind comments like that from my readers that keep me going.
You have to remember, that I have nothing to do but blogging, for hours on end most days. I write, I read, I like, I comment, I pimp the shit out of this blog on Twitter. You tell me-Is that what you really want to do with your life? I’m sure your time is much better spent. This blog saves me from the mind numbing boredom and resulting depression that creeps in on occasion. I love it, but it would be nice to have a job where I actually had to “work”.
I just might have to add these nice words of yours to my Sally Field page.
Oh Diva, you’re so kind to acknowledge us little people. Next up, I say you move into merchandising. Think of it: Cheeky Diva lunchboxes, Cheeky Diva t-shirts, Cheeky Diva knapsacks, Cheeky Diva post-it notes with Cheeky Diva quotes…
Brand the crap out of this baby, I say. Then you’ll be chasing down the magical 100,000 right around the time your new sitcom hits the air.
Oh boy, you are too kind. Did you see I gave you a shout out on my bad poems about food post? I gave you a few cyber hugs of your own, my famous friend. Thanks for taking time out of your book signing tour to have one of your interns write that nice comment!
I saw it, loved it, was a made a better human being by it. Cyber hug returned, my lovely friend.
Holy crap! You kill me! I just read your post about skiing. Another one I must email to Mr. Cheeky. I’m now subscribed by email myself, because for some reason, my Reader doesn’t like you nearly as much as I do.
Cheeky, this was awesome — best one.
Favorite Stanza:
You keep coming back and I eat it up
As my power and influence grows
Soon the mediocre shall rule the world
(Like a raving lunatic she crows)
I would like you to write an inner monologue based on an experience. The voice in your head as someone is talking to you. Put yourself in a really weird-ass situation, and track your thoughts. I think it would be great — you have a good inner monologue voice. Keep me posted!
What pearls of drivel should fall from my lips
To grab that 10,000 hit prize?
With what manner of “meaningful content”
Should I attempt to assault your eyes?
.
wow