A Know-it-all’s Top Ten Tips For Making Your Blog More Successful

Or making it appear to be.

Some of my  readers may think I’m wildly successful, have a throng of adoring fans, and am making a shit-ton of money with this blog.  Or maybe you’ve got a suspicion that I’m just like that creepy guy behind the curtain.   Perception is reality, and it’s all about appearances, right? Whichever it is, even someone as mediocre as myself may have a valuable thing or two  to offer the Blog-Gods of tomorrow.

(One of which, I’d like to be myself some day.) 

Does that jackass look like he
knows how to get to Kansas?

Since I’ve been at this blog writing gig for four whole months  forever, I thought I would be nice for a change, and help out my fellow wannabes. What follows is a sure fire list of things to put your bloggity bloggity blog  on the juiced up,  speeding rail line to the gravy train of middling success.

1Share your knowledge and expertise

So many people want to start a blog, or to make their blog THE ONE BLOG that  readers wake up and look for each and every day.  Give the people what they want. Offer advice, give instructions on a great DIY project, share recipes with mouthwatering pictures.   Pass out all of your tips!  Like I’m doing now.  Make sure you put “Top Ten List” somewhere in your title, that way, the evil search engine tentacles can find it.  It worked for me!  You’re here reading aren’t you?

2. Share your blog on Facebook

Can’t stress this enough.  The benefit of this is two-fold.  Not only does it artificially inflate your follower count, but it’s sweet  payback.  Now all of your Facebook friends will have to scroll through your never-ending blog posts, just like you have to scroll through all of their stupid, effing E-cards.  Us geezers are all just on the Facebook to spy on our kids, and frankly, having my page crapped up with all this just irritates me.  If you get a hit once in a while from this, it’s a bonus.  Just enjoy the numbers, and feel good that you are crapping up Facebook with something you actually wrote.

3. Comment everywhere

On every blog post you visit.  Really, for real.  It’s a rule or something.   It’s nice to know people are actually reading.  Don’t just be a serial “liker”.  People like words.  You can do better than a smiley face or a “Nice post! It changed my life!” I know you can.  You’re a writer, make your comments creative and engaging.  Keep the conversation going.  That makes you look at least marginally intelligent.  I get many clicks from my brilliant comments I’ve left on other blog posts. 

And don’t be such a whiny baby!! Reply to all the comments on your own blog that you can.  Unless it turns into some long, oddball conversation that goes off on a totally unrelated tangent. That’s what *Twitter is for. (See #5)

*-Tweeting and blog-pimping all day long have gotten me more pity clicks than I can count.  Trust me.  Try it for yourself. 

4. Badges?  Hell, yes, you need some stinking badges. 

Choose a theme with at least one or two sidebars.  More if that’s possible.  Crap up those sidebars with everything you can think of!  Awards, associations, companion blogs, your Etsy store, whatever.  More clicky-clickys.  You want to give the illusion that you’re all over the place, and  that not reading you is frowned upon.  Make sure all those clicks actually lead to something you’re really involved in.  Don’t be Rick-Rolling anyone, like I just did to you.

5. Be a social media butterfly.

Be everywhere!  Twitter, Pinterest, Amazon, Trip Advisor, Joe’s Website, -anywhere that you can  artfully shove that perfectly crafted Gravatar into the face of potential readers.  It’s called “branding” just in case you didn’t know (eyeroll), and it’s key for garnering a following.  I love Twitter and Pinterest.  Where else can I be so brilliant with only 140 characters!  Or with just pictures!  Hell yeah.  If you aren’t doing this, you are missing out, fer sher.

 Adding Twitter to your “publicize”  is another dee-lish-us way to boost that follower count.   BONUS!!-You get 2-count em-2!–Follows if someone follows you on Word Press and on Twitter.  If they are really a fan-boy, and follow you by email as well, that’s a total of 3 follows, all from just one creepy stalker!  As of this writing, my sidebar asks you to “join 695 other followers”  Sharing, Publicize and deftly wrought deception have cleverly disguised the fact that my actual follower count is closer to 4.  Like really close to 4.

6. Be Search Engine Friendly.

Make good use of key words.  Use them  frequently, a lot and often.  Did I say often?  In the title or towards the top, or even in the name of your blog.  I’m thinking about changing the name of my blog to The Naked Cheeky Porn Diva.  The words NAKED and PORN are great for grabbing those late night perv hits.  I have a post titled “FREE PORN HERE” and there hasn’t been a day without at least a few search engine hits for “free porn” since it was published. Gotta love those pervs. 

7. Use Zementa

Adding related articles to the footer of your blog post is another two-sided goodie.  You look like a nice guy, throwing a spotlight on other up and comers, and in turn, they may do it for you.  Just remember, when you get a pending comment that looks like it may be spam, more than likely it’s another blog-genius of the future who is giving you a nice pingback.  Those can be really valuable.  Of course, if it’s from UGG Boots Australia, and says “Nice pictures Tammy!” it’s probably spam.  -Unless your blog is about UGGs and your name is Tammy.

8. Write “meaningful content”

Okay, I can’t even count the times I have thumbed my nose at this little concept.  In fact, unmeaningful content is exactly what I do.  But that doesn’t mean that what I’m writing right now isn’t meaningful.  Crap!  See, now I made you think I don’t know what I’m doing again.  Grrrr.  Me and my big mouth.  (See #9)

9. Jump all over writing challenges.

Specifically, the Word Press challenges.  The Daily Prompt Post has gotten me more hits, likes, comments, followers and readers than possibly anything else I’ve done in the last four months.  Getting them done as fast as you possibly can-don’t worry if what you wrote is garbage-so you get on the linkback list is hit count gold!

 Now here’s a blog I actually get up salivating to read! ( See #1).  These challenges benefit blog writers in numerous ways.  They really stretch your creative muscles, expose you to new readers and when your days can be as empty as mine sometimes, it’s all I have to look forward to.  *Sniff*  Taking part in the challenges also brings to blogging a sense of community, when you see how others respond to the same challenge.  The challenges take you out of your comfort zone, show the world that you’re not just a one trick Diva. I mean, I’m not a one trick Diva…right?  

10. Buy a domain name. 

Having a real, honest to goodness dot com behind your name tells the world you’re serious.  You aren’t going anywhere.  You care enough to write this damn blog, and you care enough to spend $18 a year to prove to the world how damn good at it you are.  If your blog is popular enough, you may qualify for Word Ads, which by the way, is going so well for me, that they might actually have to pay me some real money in about 12 years time.  

So there you have it!  I’m sure you’ve heard it all before, but doesn’t it just sound better, more user-friendly, easier to understand when I say it?  Of course it does!   And just because I love you all so damn much, total strangers, I’m going to give you one last bonus tip~

BONUS TIP

Even though it’s really nothing more than queen for a day, (who am I kidding? It’s EVERYTHING) get yourself Freshly Pressed.  What could possibly give you more clout in the blog world than having  the blue badge of badass gracing your page?  Not very damn much.  

Look at that, Hortence! She’s gone and got herself Freshly Pressed! This crazy bitch may just be worth reading after all.

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81 thoughts on “A Know-it-all’s Top Ten Tips For Making Your Blog More Successful

  1. This is the first helpful article I’ve ever read on successful blogging……which hasn’t made me fall asleep after the first sentence. And I’ve read a few. And never learn’t anything before. Probably due to the falling asleep thingy. Love your writing style, very amusing.

    • Thanks so much! What a nice thing to say. If you’re on Twitter, don’t forget to recommend this awesome, life changing post to @Freshly_pressed, as who wouldn’t want THAT again, (See #5). Wink wink. Thanks for following, I hope I will make it worth your while. Helpful information doesn’t have to be boring. I hope I made it not boring. :-)

      • Crumbs, for a techno phobe I’m on a steep learning curve. Genuinely enjoyed the post. Have sent a tweet to @Freshly_pressed recommending it. And have followed you on Twitter. Now I need a lie down!

  2. Ok, ok… I’m commenting! I’m guilty as charged. I hop from blog to blog give a quick thank you… or “like” that is and move on many times without being kind enough to even say hello…. I blame on being an Introvert. I’m very new to this blogging thing but I’ll try to do better and practice proper etiquette. :-)

  3. It’s about time you started educating the masses! And I like being Rick-Rolled; it makes me laugh, and this time I read all the little tidbits about the video as they popped up. Hope you get a million hits on this; there’s good advice in here. This winter, when I *really* don’t have anything to do, I”ll drag my butt over to Twitter and see what I can do to muck it up. :-)

  4. Great tips to fame and fortune Cheeky. I’ve seen that top ten list format work so many times. I will have incorporate it into my next post! Thanks for the reminder!
    I just don’t know if I can jump onto the Facebook bandwagon but the Daily Prompt Post sounds intriguing, I think I will have to get on board!

    • Oh yeah. Totally get going with the DP challenge. One day I got over 200 hits from that alone. About Facebook? Wondering if your “real” friends are going to read your blog? Fear not, the new wears off after about 3 posts, and I think maybe two people who know me in the real world besides my husband read it now. And don’t forget the PORN! By the way, I’m working on a post where I’m giving people-including you a major award. Of course, I’m too lazy to go to your blog and alert you, so consider this your notification. ;-)

      • I’ll see if I can work out my aversion to facebook and I will definitely find a way to add the word porn in a post, I can only imagine the results.
        Thanks for the notification, can’t wait for the rest!

  5. The DP challenges don’t really interest me most of the time. But I try to do everything else on this list. Except get Freshly Pressed. I’m not sure what those people are thinking most of the time, but most of the stuff that gets Pressed isn’t very interesting to me. Present company excluded, of course. Cause you’re effing awesome!

  6. Well, I’d like to say that WordPress’ The Daily Post had been telling us how to get more ‘hits’ but this one really hit me more. You did it quite better and a little more, so I won’t say that anymore. Thank you for this very valuable tips.

    • Can I say thank you and you’re welcome in the same sentence? I guess I just did. I like to do everything with a snarky, fun-poking touch, so as not to start an internet snooze fest. I’m glad you dropped by to read. Your blog is beautiful by the way. Like your pictures and your poetry!

  7. Funny, witty and helpful blog! IMHO not that it counts for anything, you deserve the FP. Because you entertain me! lol One point though, re: that Facebook connection you’re absolutely right it does send up the count higher BUT I’m incongnito here and since I don’t a flying fig about those psuedo-happy people on my FB page that are forever posting pics of them, their kids, their pets and literally bragging about how perfect they are their life is and blah blah blah…I can’t shock them out of their coma by letting them into my secret dark thoughts! lmao!

    • Good Idea. This is my “happy fun blog” by the way. I have two others. Facebook is a weird thing in and of itself. Reading about all those people I grew up with, who haven’t aged and live perfect lives can drive a person to drink. I’m sooooo over it! Thank you so much for your kind thoughts by the way. I look forward to reading your “secret dark” thoughts too! :-)

  8. Thank you for sharing the list, perfect timing for me, I was just thinking (before reading your post) how does everybody know about this daily prompt thing. Did I miss a setting? Sigh, thanks to you, now I know! I’ve followed it, and now I have a clue. Thanks for making sure I didn’t have a blonde moment totally publicly!

    • That’s Zementa. If you search it in the support pages, you can learn more about it. It’s in your dashboard, but I honestly can’t remember if it’s always been there, or if I had to turn it on. It’s in the lower right corner when you’re working on a post. You can find free pictures, and related articles. All you have to do is click on the ones you want, and they will just appear at the bottom of your post.

      I’ve seen some blogs where those related articles appear as a thumbnail picture, which I would love to do, but I can’t figure out how it’s done.

      So glad this was helpful to you!

  9. Pingback: And now, a word from our sponsor… « A Lateral Plunge: Where life goes from here…

      • It’s going slow but sure. There’s not enough time in the day to create witty, pithy, RT-able twitter commentary, write my tv show and childen’s book, try to get the attention of a lit agent, finish my etsy store, and go to the gym. So now I’m off to the gym!

      • I’m not actually successful in any of those things, it’s just on my wish list for when I grow up. Im really really good at wasting my day on twitter crack. but you know what they say, if you think it, it will happen, right??

      • Oh yes indeedy!!!

        A dream is a wish your heart makes
        When you’re fast asleep
        No matter how your heart is grieving,
        If you keep on believing,
        The dream that you wish will come true.
        And it did!!!!

        True story.

        Now get your ass to the gym! You can tweet on the treadmill

      • I was in a boot camp and weightraining class no good for tweeting, too much sweating! then I went to a consignment shop and got a F-ING VINTAGE VALENTINO. Swear, I’ll be tweeting/bogging about that in a heartbeat. I’m gonna save that poem of yours, I need it! I did nothing but raise my son for so long, I’m totes out of the loop, but im loopy so its all good. Thank YOU very much!

  10. Nice post! It changed my…oh, Ad-Lib33d already made that joke. *awkward silence*. Tip #6 made me laugh. I like how “FREE PORN HERE” is in the list of top posts and pages. Gotta love those pervs…

    • Marginally meaningful? I love that! The fact that any of them have any meaning at all is news to me! Thanks! I always try to warn people that if they are looking for “valuable content” they’ve clicked on the wrong blog. Ha ha!

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