Some of my readers may think I’m wildly successful, have a throng of adoring fans, and am making a shit-ton of money with this blog. Or maybe you’ve got a suspicion that I’m just like that creepy guy behind the curtain. Perception is reality, and it’s all about appearances, right? Whichever it is, even someone as mediocre as myself may have a valuable thing or two to offer the Blog-Gods of tomorrow.
(One of which, I’d like to be myself some day.)
Since I’ve been at this blog writing gig for four whole months forever, I thought I would be nice for a change, and help out my fellow wannabes. What follows is a sure fire list of things to put your bloggity bloggity blog on the juiced up, speeding rail line to the gravy train of middling success.
1. Share your knowledge and expertise
So many people want to start a blog, or to make their blog THE ONE BLOG that readers wake up and look for each and every day. Give the people what they want. Offer advice, give instructions on a great DIY project, share recipes with mouthwatering pictures. Pass out all of your tips! Like I’m doing now. Make sure you put “Top Ten List” somewhere in your title, that way, the evil search engine tentacles can find it. It worked for me! You’re here reading aren’t you?
2. Share your blog on Facebook
Can’t stress this enough. The benefit of this is two-fold. Not only does it artificially inflate your follower count, but it’s sweet payback. Now all of your Facebook friends will have to scroll through your never-ending blog posts, just like you have to scroll through all of their stupid, effing E-cards. Us geezers are all just on the Facebook to spy on our kids, and frankly, having my page crapped up with all this just irritates me. If you get a hit once in a while from this, it’s a bonus. Just enjoy the numbers, and feel good that you are crapping up Facebook with something you actually wrote.
3. Comment everywhere
On every blog post you visit. Really, for real. It’s a rule or something. It’s nice to know people are actually reading. Don’t just be a serial “liker”. People like words. You can do better than a smiley face or a “Nice post! It changed my life!” I know you can. You’re a writer, make your comments creative and engaging. Keep the conversation going. That makes you look at least marginally intelligent. I get many clicks from my brilliant comments I’ve left on other blog posts.
And don’t be such a whiny baby!! Reply to all the comments on your own blog that you can. Unless it turns into some long, oddball conversation that goes off on a totally unrelated tangent. That’s what *Twitter is for. (See #5)
*-Tweeting and blog-pimping all day long have gotten me more pity clicks than I can count. Trust me. Try it for yourself.
4. Badges? Hell, yes, you need some stinking badges.
Choose a theme with at least one or two sidebars. More if that’s possible. Crap up those sidebars with everything you can think of! Awards, associations, companion blogs, your Etsy store, whatever. More clicky-clickys. You want to give the illusion that you’re all over the place, and that not reading you is frowned upon. Make sure all those clicks actually lead to something you’re really involved in. Don’t be Rick-Rolling anyone, like I just did to you.
5. Be a social media butterfly.
Be everywhere! Twitter, Pinterest, Amazon, Trip Advisor, Joe’s Website, -anywhere that you can artfully shove that perfectly crafted Gravatar into the face of potential readers. It’s called “branding” just in case you didn’t know (eyeroll), and it’s key for garnering a following. I love Twitter and Pinterest. Where else can I be so brilliant with only 140 characters! Or with just pictures! Hell yeah. If you aren’t doing this, you are missing out, fer sher.
Adding Twitter to your “publicize” is another dee-lish-us way to boost that follower count. BONUS!!-You get 2-count em-2!–Follows if someone follows you on Word Press and on Twitter. If they are really a fan-boy, and follow you by email as well, that’s a total of 3 follows, all from just one creepy stalker! As of this writing, my sidebar asks you to “join 695 other followers” Sharing, Publicize and deftly wrought deception have cleverly disguised the fact that my actual follower count is closer to 4. Like really close to 4.
6. Be Search Engine Friendly.
Make good use of key words. Use them frequently, a lot and often. Did I say often? In the title or towards the top, or even in the name of your blog. I’m thinking about changing the name of my blog to The Naked Cheeky Porn Diva. The words NAKED and PORN are great for grabbing those late night perv hits. I have a post titled “FREE PORN HERE” and there hasn’t been a day without at least a few search engine hits for “free porn” since it was published. Gotta love those pervs.
7. Use Zementa
Adding related articles to the footer of your blog post is another two-sided goodie. You look like a nice guy, throwing a spotlight on other up and comers, and in turn, they may do it for you. Just remember, when you get a pending comment that looks like it may be spam, more than likely it’s another blog-genius of the future who is giving you a nice pingback. Those can be really valuable. Of course, if it’s from UGG Boots Australia, and says “Nice pictures Tammy!” it’s probably spam. -Unless your blog is about UGGs and your name is Tammy.
8. Write “meaningful content”
Okay, I can’t even count the times I have thumbed my nose at this little concept. In fact, unmeaningful content is exactly what I do. But that doesn’t mean that what I’m writing right now isn’t meaningful. Crap! See, now I made you think I don’t know what I’m doing again. Grrrr. Me and my big mouth. (See #9)
9. Jump all over writing challenges.
Specifically, the Word Press challenges. The Daily Prompt Post has gotten me more hits, likes, comments, followers and readers than possibly anything else I’ve done in the last four months. Getting them done as fast as you possibly can-don’t worry if what you wrote is garbage-so you get on the linkback list is hit count gold!
Now here’s a blog I actually get up salivating to read! ( See #1). These challenges benefit blog writers in numerous ways. They really stretch your creative muscles, expose you to new readers and when your days can be as empty as mine sometimes, it’s all I have to look forward to. *Sniff* Taking part in the challenges also brings to blogging a sense of community, when you see how others respond to the same challenge. The challenges take you out of your comfort zone, show the world that you’re not just a one trick Diva. I mean, I’m not a one trick Diva…right?
10. Buy a domain name.
Having a real, honest to goodness dot com behind your name tells the world you’re serious. You aren’t going anywhere. You care enough to write this damn blog, and you care enough to spend $18 a year to prove to the world how damn good at it you are. If your blog is popular enough, you may qualify for Word Ads, which by the way, is going so well for me, that they might actually have to pay me some real money in about 12 years time.
So there you have it! I’m sure you’ve heard it all before, but doesn’t it just sound better, more user-friendly, easier to understand when I say it? Of course it does! And just because I love you all so damn much, total strangers, I’m going to give you one last bonus tip~
Even though it’s really nothing more than queen for a day, (who am I kidding? It’s EVERYTHING) get yourself Freshly Pressed. What could possibly give you more clout in the blog world than having the blue badge of badass gracing your page? Not very damn much.
- Anatomy of an Effective Blog Post (toddlohenry.com)
- Link Building for the Little Guys (seomoz.org)
- 8 Places You Should Promote Your Blog to Get More Readers (blogs.constantcontact.com)
- Generate more traffic at your blog (itmashable.com)