Sorry it took so long to get this done, campers. I know you all have empty, sad looking stockings waiting to be stuffed with consumer goods of glee, so here is my must have list of sockstuffin crap no family should be without.
For the brittle old ladies on your list, like me, who seem to suffer a broken bone just by turning their head:
For your fat lard cousin, who can’t seem to lose weight, no matter how much he complains about it:
For the laziest cook you know. Maybe it’s even you?
For all those friends who seem to end up in social situations where food and drink is served, with no table. Put one in your purse when crashing wedding receptions.
Okay, this is just retarded, but hey, I’m sure there’s someone on your Christmas list who could make use of this handy-dandy item, because who doesn’t want to put their weenie in a toaster?
Give this to anyone who does NOT live with you. God forbid you should open your dishwasher and find someone’s greasy sweaty hat in there.
Here’s one for your friends who don’t think they look quite cool enough with a Blue-tool device. This should definitely get the job done.
Let’s make food prep even more tedious for mom! They always say never buy a woman something that plugs in. But a food processor that you have to crank? By hand even? This shit is just cruel.
I don’t quite understand how this works, but I’m sure it’s real “sciency” and stuff. Guaranteed not to offend your recipient, no matter how they may interpret its intended use.
Um, yeah. You can make this one yourself! No need to buy! Great idea for that one lone sock. It will give it a sense of purpose. It’s been so aimless since the dryer ate it’s mate.
Great for the toddlers, old folks, and toothless friends and relatives on your list. Because I’m sure they eat so many hot dogs, they need this valuable tool to make serving and consuming them more fun!
What’s better for sore achy feet than walking around on shoddily constructed slippers full of hot steamy rice? Not a damn thing I can think of! Please send a pair of these bad boys to me! Size small.
Oh no, I’m not telling Aunt Betty we all would like to be less acquainted with her cleavage! You do it!