More Delightful Armageddon Holiday Cards!

Ahhhhh…..Nothing warms the heart quite like the end of the world, am I right?  Our impending doom is just around the corner and it’s time to let it all hang out.  Now is the time to say things that need to be said, and toss your inhibitions out with the baby, or the bath water, or whatever that phrase is.

Today I give you more cards to share with your loved ones, because frankly Scarlett, we just don’t give a damn, do we?  So in the spirit of just not caring anymore, here are some cards you can use for those situations where you’ve decided to give in to your demons, your addictions and finally, just want to tell the truth.

You’ve done a great job fighting your compulsive eating until now.  Eating right, going to the gym and taking good care of your body.  Screw that!  Strap on the feedbag fatty!

compulsive eater card

Everyone suspects, you get a raised eyebrow now and then. So what, you like to take a little nip.  Just hand this card to whoever finds you in front of the liquor cabinet with a funnel in your mouth:

Alcoholic card

Maybe you’ve had one foot out the door for a while, but just don’t know how to make a clean break.  Here’s one for your soon to be insignificant other:

dont love you 2

What about that cute guy or gal at the office?  Aren’t you just kicking yourself now for being a Harvey or Hortence Milktoast?  Too late to strike up a friendship and see if it could blossom into love.  But fear not, maybe you can spend your last night together at least.  Try this one to see if they’ve had their eye on you too:

shy guy 2

And finally, inspired by the incomparable Carol Burnett, and the best “Christmas Face” ever captured on film, here’s a card that I’m sure will come in handy for many situations:

Happy Family Christmas

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32 thoughts on “More Delightful Armageddon Holiday Cards!

  1. I am sensing just a hint of cynicism here. Is somebody lacking in holiday spirit? You need some Pfuffernussens… (I bet I did’t spell that right)… but they are these little gingerbready,spiced pepper cookies from Germany covered with powdered sugar. I think the name means ‘pepper balls’, which is what I used to call my daughter’s last boyfriend just as a joke… the German version, not the translation.

    • I don’t have much family left, but my sister is the only one still alive who is speaking to me. That works. I sent the rest the card with Eunice on it. Isn’t that a great shot? So scary.

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