Hey kids, this is a little late, sorry. Been busy wallowing in self pity, and wondering why my daily prompt post about wallowing in self pity didn’t end up on the pingback list, so there’s some more self pity to wallow in. Weeeeeee!
December has been a very odd month for me, in the blogosphere, as well as the reallifeosphere. I feel like I am on an out of control amusement park ride called the Nightmare Mood Swing Express.
The impending Holidays, the end of the world, family crap, work crap, other CRAP are spoiling my usual jovial season. In the spirit of Festivus For The Rest Of Us, why not make today’s haiku’s all about airing our grievances, or mood swings, or just random shit that’s got you bugged.
Before this pity party gets going in full swing, I need to stop and say hello to anyone of Le Clown’s readers who are here to get their haiku fix, now that his Sunday haiku guest blogger spectacle has ended. I appreciate Mr. Clown and Cathy at Large Self, his final guest host for guiding people here for their weekly dose of dorktastic haiku. So sorry you picked today to drop by. But please make your presence known and leave a haiku or two in the comments.
Let’s rollllllllllll………………………
Get the tissues please
And a gallon of ice cream
Lifetime Movies? Check!
****
Feeling better starts
Watching Meredith Baxter
Fight off a psycho
****
My life’s not so bad
LT Hasn’t filmed it yet
Is mood improving?
****
“Killer in your car!”
“Killer in your king sized bed!”
I scream at TV
****
Dumb girls on Lifetime
You never saw it coming
So glad I’m not you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here we go again
Another Christmas season
Is it over yet?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ready for new year
I’m so over Twenty Twelve
Move it, calendar!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Try to be joyful
Wearing my smile on a stick
Can you tell it’s fake?
Sometimes, you just need to smile when you don’t want to. Watch our friends Ren & Stimpy show you how it’s done:
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The Carpenters/ Make me want to vomit/ All over Christmas!
Ha ha ha!!! Love it! Thank you!
Cheeky makes me laugh
With her silly, fun haikus
Join the fun, will you?
Awww, aren’t you nice? And me being so foul and full of bile today. What a great pal you are.
*sighs humbly* It’s a gift.
I suck at haikus/ I choke on cake/ Hey, is this supposed to rhyme?
Rhyming matters not
Just ask that you play along
The more sucktastic the better!
I can understand
The way that you are feeling
I work with douchebags
Um, no comment shh
Don’t know who reads,
but we feel each other’s pain, am I right?
So much to do still
Wish I could relax a bit
But Christmas soon here
No gifts have been bought
No money with which to buy
Empty Xmas Tree
Can’t be with the kids
Its their fathers turn to host
This one won’t be fun
I am such a drag
Aren’t you glad you stopped by here?
To have your mellow harshed? (One too many, but I couldn’t resist)
That is really sad
Feel terrible for you
Guess I won’t complain
It will all be fine
Can only go up from here
Next year be better.
Rather have true love
than live a lie like before
with the wrong husband
Poor and laughing much
Better than wealthy and sad
Ex can have that life
Carrie, please forgive me. That was very uncool of me. Life isn’t bad at all most of the time. The holidays are for some reason just really getting me down this year, more than ever. Thank goodness I have this silly little blog where I can spew my thoughts and share laughs with my pals. Thanks so much for being one of them.
You spew all you want. Everyone deserves a chance to vent. And by putting it to Haiku, you give it a different spin. I look forward to your Thursday Haiku’s when I get a chance to mosey on over. It’s the only Haiku I write. For good reason.
I appreciate that so much! I’m glad I did it. Wasn’t feeling it today, but I can’t disappoint my fans. Ha ha ha! Did I just say that???? Oh brother. what a diva she is–Oh my god! Now she’s (I’m) referring to herself (myself) in the third person. I have gone over the edge of sanity…….Look out below!………….
I’ll eat some of my freshly baked goodies in your honor. That will right the world again.
I have a fridge full of cookie dough to bake, so there will at least be some food to go along with the festive Christmas zombie killing. I hope to get two of the three kids and maybe all of them over to my place for a little while. The problem is the youngest lives in a different city and can only be home for a very short time. Hope Dad and I can put aside our “grievances” long enough to make sure everyone has a nice Holiday. Keep your fingers crossed!
Crossed and double-crossed.
Everyone has flaws
And moods that go up and down
Friends will understand.
What bugs me is fear
I am scared to start a blog
You bloggers are brave!!!
Don’t be ascared friend
Blogging pals are the best! kind
It will bring you joy!
I completely am
In agreement about this
Nearly over year
Bring on the new one
Bring on the countdown and cheer
The New York Ball drops
Hope I can stay up
To see that sparkly ball drop
I’m a New Years wimp
Date with Mr C
Watch Poseiden Adventure
Yearly tradition
See midnight nightly
Nothing special for New Years
Just a normal hour
Traditions are good
Movie Marathon is ours
Flip to ball then back
Haiku I don’t do
Do not remember how to
And researchng? Ew!
No problem! I’m just thrilled I found another soul who enjoys old cookbooks! Here’s a post I wrote about my favorite blogger, who has taken old cookbook appreciation to a hilarious level. Please read if you have time, and thanks so much for dropping by! Welcome!
http://wp.me/p2BTAP-Vn
Cheeky Diva! I have always loved Lileks too and bought his Regrettable Food book! How about that? I think you definitely did him justice in your post. The Colossal Weenie Wonder Ha! And what a wonder it is! And the asparagus lampshade is to die for! (Literally when you take into account the thumbtacks!) But oh what a way to go!
I’m a huge fan of all kind of vintage material. I have quite a large and useless collection! Oh but they are ripe with humor aren’t they? 
Hi there! Yes they are. I have an ancient cook book that’s just cookies, it’s got the creepiest pictures and the best recipes in it. I don’t know where it came from, but there’s an order form in the back to get more for 40 cents a piece. It has a chapter that’s all recipes from 1st Ladies. The most recent being Lady Bird Johnson. It’s quite a treasure. We are scarfing peanut butter cookies right now that I made for Christmas using a recipe that was in it. They aren’t going to last until then, I’m sure. Thanks so much for stopping by and reading! Look forward to chatting with you again soon and reading more of your work.
(Right now, I’m obssessed with Vintage sewing patterns, and would love to build a collection and make myself some totally rad retro fashions.)
Oh I wish I could sew! Vintage (well as far back as the 70′s) patterns turn up in the thrift store I go to from time to time! But alas I am the world’s worst seamstress! But oh what fun to sew yourself a new groovy wardrobe! Oh and those first lady recipes! How fun! I’m wondering if Lady Bird’s calls for eggs that she herself laid? I look forward to chatting with you again too Cheekydiva!
I know they are going for a fortune on Ebay, but there are a few antique and thrift stores around here that have a ton of them. Just haven’t made the time to go and look through them. I do love to sew. I got married in May and made my own gown. Good thing I’ll never have to do THAT again. Don’t know what I was thinking. I wrote a post about it. You don’t have to read it, but you may enjoy looking at the pictures:
http://wp.me/p2BTAP-2b
Made you’re own wedding gown! I’m totally impressed. My sewing looks like Lucy Ricardo’s – she also cut out the rug when she was cutting out the pattern. That’s something I would do. I once sewed the elastic waistband for a pair of pants into the leg, I didn’t even know I was doing it until my daughter’s 10 year old friend spotted it from across the room! Sigh . . .
You are Grinching all over my awesomesausage…
That sounded wrong…
Snap out of it…
Ha ha!! I’m not touching anyone’s awesomesausage with a 39 and a half foot pole!
That is one tall Polish dude. Now do you like my new song I posted?
haven’t heard it yet. no speakers on work pc
I wait with baited breath… and fishy lips… ha!
Your wait may be a long one, I have to go home and clean the house, it’s for sale…didn’t know if you were aware of that….we have a showing tomorrow, and we’ve gotten quite lazy, haven’t shown it in a few weeks. Yay! Maybe….ugh…too tired to clean the house tonight. COFFEE COFFEEE COFFFEEEEEEEEEEE
It is like 4 minutes long…
You can listen while you dust the computer.
Merry time of year
Forced to wear a smile on face
Frosting on sad cake
I hear you sister.
But everyone loves frosting!
Try to enjoy it.
Great! Now sad AND hungry!
CRAP! Sorry.
Thanks for the pingback
I was excited to find
many others who
love haikus as much
as I do. They are more fun
when you can share them
I will follow your
blog, looking foward for more.
Hope your mood improves.
Hi there! Haiku’s ARE fun aren’t they? But for me they have to be silly. Thanks for being concerned about my mood. The longer you read, the more you’ll realize that it is ever changing….but for the most part, I’m pretty silly. I just fell off the dork wagon yesterday and am having a fair amount of difficulty climbing back on.
I write serious poems too, but the silly ones are definitely the most fun. And there’s plenty of wierdos on the dork wagon to help you back up. We’re a pretty forgiving bunch.
You are not the only one who’s upset about the readership, but if I had YOUR numbers, I’d be less upset. I know I’ve only been doing this since June but I’m getting super frustrated. SUPER upset. I think you should take the advice I won’t give myself. Keep doing it. Don’t quit.
Darling! Do you think anyone could stop me? As if! They can try all they want.
I LOVE your posts, i really do. And don’t tell anyone, but I am a very good judge of good writing. Trust me. I KNOW. Glad you won’t stop!
Really? Thanks so much! That means so much to me. I am humbled. And glad youre my virtual pal.
Oh you! I’m glad you’re my fake friend,too!!!! You’re nicer than 90% of the “real” people I know….
Cheeky diva Writes Haiku
I want to do
it too but dont know how
Hope your mood gets better. I’ve been feeling down lately too.
Hi there! Haikus are just 5 syllables, 7 syllables and then 5 again. Traditionally, they are supposed to be about nature, but pfffftttt….you know we don’t do rules here.
Self-involvedness
Holy frustrating, Batman
Breathe, little one, breathe.
Hey! This is all about me here, remember??? Just kidding. That was a funny one, thanks! Hope you’re first married holiday season is full of magic and wonder.
I worked on it all day while fuming over how irritating my sister is.
Are you in bed yet
Long day mom’s doing laundry
Too tired for blogs
We are the Cratchetts
May I have lump of coal please
House cold gone all day
You bake the cookies
They will cheer you up right quick
House smell like Christmas
In bed, but awake
Today was long and crappy
Tomorrow better.
Not cold here right now
But Crachett Christmas as well
Bah Humbug and shit.
No coal lumps for you
Cuz you’re too awesome for that
Crap! Ran out of words.
Thanks for dropping by girly. Still plan to publish the new book tomorrow? SQUEE!
My mom is sick! She hasn’t been able to read. I’m having to push it back to probably Monday or Tuesday, but definitely before Christmas. Good night, sweet Diva. Hope you have a good day tomorrow!
Shoutout Gratitude
Even for Holiday Downer
It will get better…
my tank is empty
love ren and stimpy
baaah humbug
and no haiku for you
sorry I told you I had zippppppp
but just sayin hello
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