Yeah, you heard it here. I’m a cow. I’m a toad. Oink, oink and more oink. If I had a mustache, I’d look like President Taft and you could find me shopping for a piano case to be buried in, or lounging in my giant custom made bath tub.
No, I’m not looking for sympathy or support friends. I just have decided that it’s time to face the music before I start to look like Orson Welles..again.
Not THAT Orson Welles……..
As I sat on my butt on Sunday, blogging in between shoving trays of cookie dough in the oven, I was also shoving cookies into my mouth without even thinking about it. Why do I do that? Because they taste sooooo gooood! That’s why!
I’ve been on this whole weight control roller coaster most of my life. Up and down, up and down. I’ve probably gained and lost around 300 pounds in my lifetime.
I wrote a post about this a while back, when I found the miracle weight loss hot pants. Did I buy them? Uh uh. I know that no matter how much they promise that a drink, a pill, or a powder you shake on your food is the magic bullet, we have to face the fact that behavior modification is the only true answer.
BUT I WANNA EAT EVERYTHING THAT’S NOT NAILED DOWN AND STILL FIT INTO ALL MY PRETTY CLOTHES!!!!!
Sorry, inner self, you know as well as I do that less food in and more sweat out is the key.
For me, after years of starving, exercising, shakes, pills, diets, hiding food and hating myself, I was able to finally tame the beast by going to Weight Watchers meetings.- Well, not just attending. You kind of have to pay attention and follow the plan. That really helps quite a bit.
With the Weight Watchers plan, I was able to lose the 55 pounds that had been hiding my cute little figure for so many years. When I saw it for the first time, I was so thrilled, I wanted to see it every time I walked by a mirror I had no idea there was actually a woman shaped woman under all those rolls of blubber! Everyone else in my world was pretty surprised too.
I kept it all off for quite a few years, and just within the last 18 months or so, it has slowly been creeping back…. GAWDAMMIT!!! Mr Cheeky and I do like to have a good meal, here’s a pic someone snapped of us on our last date night:
I’ve gotten rather lazy, and have deluded myself in more than one area:
1-I’m not gaining weight.
2-well maybe a little, no one will notice.
3-I can put a stop to this anytime I want to.
Here’s the reality:
1-you ARE gaining weight
2-It’s a lot, don’t be stupid, you’re spilling out of everything-gross! You think no one can see that?
3-Okay then, if you can stop it anytime you want, do it already, you big fat lard.
I have decided to put my foot down, right on the windpipe of that old sweet tooth once again. Today I actually stepped on the scale for the first time in months, just to see how much damage I have actually done.
Yeah, it’s that much. GULP. I know it’s hard or stupid even to try losing weight around the holidays, when you have to contend with stuff like this:
But I’m going to try. I want to fit into a special something for my birthday in February, and I’m going to do it. Since I don’t go to Weight Watchers meetings anymore, and since I used to weigh in there every Tuesday, I’m going to do a post each Tuesday to keep you updated on my progress.
I’m sure you don’t care, but it will keep me accountable, make the effort public, and hopefully motivate me to stay…well, motivated for lack of a better word.
No, I’m not going to post my starting weight. I’m much too vain for that. You think I’m crazy? I will just keep you posted as to progress, and let you know if and when I reach my goal.
Wish me luck, my awesome far away blog type pals I’ve never met, and please feel free to hop on the bus to fat camp with me if you would like to post your own weight successes and failures, or use the comment section to keep track of your own progress if you are already on a weight loss journey of your own.
Day One: Weight lost: 0.0 -Jeez, I hope next weeks numbers look better.