Daily Prompt~Zombie Food

Today’s Prompt:

Daily Prompt: Apply yourself. Describe your last attempt to learn something that did not come easy to you.

Pfffffftttttt………

Remember this face?~

THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES! YOU'RE GOING TO SEND MY PARTY THROUGH YOUR BUFFET FOR THE PRICE YOU QUOTED ME AND GIVE US OUR OWN PARTY ROOM, RIGHT?

How many fingers do you need to run these goddam things?

What about this one?………

I can't do it! I'm too old for this!  I hate it!!!!!!

I can’t do it! I’m too old for this! I hate it!!!!!!

Oh yeah, those are my go-to faces when things don’t go my way.  The other day you saw them both when you read about my wedding rehearsal dinner that didn’t happen.  If you missed it, you can read about it HERE

In my latest attempt to broaden my horizons and learn a new skill, my poor husband saw these faces a lot.  In fact, I haven’t mastered it yet, and have only made a few attempts, because learning to use an  X-Box controller appears to be far beyond my scope of ability.

My Arch Nemesis

My Arch Nemesis

We thought it would be great fun to get ourselves an X-Box for Christmas.  My husband loves the game Left 4 Dead, and we thought we would enjoy playing it together.

In an exercise of patience like I’ve never seen before, he painstakingly attempted to teach me how to use the infernal controller one afternoon.   As he explained all the buttons to me, and displayed on the screen what they were doing, I was reduced to a spoiled child who wanted to throw the damn thing at the TV.

zombies

The thing is so foreign to me that I’m not sure I’ll ever figure it out.  Being left-handed certainly didn’t help.  As the day wore on, I kept trying, getting angrier and more frustrated.  After learning just enough to put myself in the path of a horde of zombies as little more than bait. I gave up.  I wanted nothing to do with it anymore.  I really just wanted to soak my head in a bucket of booze.  That’s no lie.

I felt stupid and childish. I felt angry for feeling stupid and childish.  It was a lose-lose kind of thing.  I left it alone for a few hours, and then came back and tried again. This time, I did the game by myself, with my darling husband merely coaching over my shoulder.  I actually managed to make it through one level alive before I gave up, but only killed a paltry 30 some undead.  When the computer avatars who played with me each wiped out over a hundred, that definitely makes me the weak one of the herd.  I should be culled. Perhaps I just need to keep trying, and hopefully eventually, once I am more comfortable with all those buttons, I might be able to navigate this post zombie apocalyptic world with more ease.  I have figured out how to crouch and turn around in circles.  This hasn’t proved to be very helpful as yet, I’m afraid.

My son gave us a stack of Xbox games for Christmas, including two versions of Assassin’s Creed~the game I really want to learn.  (Ha!) That one is far away in my future I’m afraid.  I started with Red Dead Redemption.  A walk through “Role Playing Game” that takes place around the turn of the 20th Century.

The environment is much different.  It’s slower, more methodical, and there isn’t a pack of hungry zombies around every corner to freak the shit out of me and make me forget what I’m trying to do.  One night I was playing it, getting used to things, actually accomplishing an objective here and there (woo hoo!).

Mr. The Cheeky said “I sure hope you get to do more in this game than ride a horse.”

horsey

“Nnnnnnno, no no.  This is great, this is perfect.  I can ride a horse. This pace is much better for me.  “

I plan to survive the Zombie Apocalypse just as soon as I conquer The Old West, and not before.   I’m so thankful that patience is a virtue that Mr. Cheeky has in abundance.

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29 thoughts on “Daily Prompt~Zombie Food

  1. I’ve heard there’s a gaming gene that is attached to the Y chromosome. So it isn’t your fault. It’s a like a man trying to conceive, although they do like to try, don’t they? I recently learned how to use the controller to go back in a DVD to a point I wanted to re-watch. I was very proud. There were no men standing over my shoulder telling me which buttons to push, either. And I wholeheartedly agree that a bucket of booze is much easier to work than an XBox controller.

    • Amen! I always let my man wrangle the remote, but only because I can’t read the buttons without my glasses,which I usually only wear at work for reading. If I take them out of my purse, I’ll forget to put them back in and have no glasses at work.

      • Well then I will tell you — if you give the man the remote, he will only proceed to tell you when to channel up, or down, or push the volume up or down. Might as well throw the damn thing back at him . . . er, uh, just let him have it.

        Also, I have contacts that allow me to see the computer at work, but not so much farther than 20 feet away. So I can’t tell if someone is smiling at me or not. Just to make sure I don’t offend anyone, I just go around smiling and nodding at everyone like some sort of an idiot. They might not even be looking at me, but I’m smiling and nodding!

  2. Ha, your scalp will hang in the teepee of a wandering native American while the wolves gnaw on your bleaching bones… unless you shoot yourself in the foot first and then get trampled by your horse… Ha… ha ha… oh man… ha…

  3. Pingback: If At First You Don’t Succeed – A Daily Prompt Post | Edward Hotspur

  4. Hubby tried to teach me to play Halo4 a few weeks back. I figured if you can’t beat them, well you know. So I’m getting killed all over the place and then the screen goes black. I couldn’t see anything. It was just black. But I could hear all the bullets flying around. I declared the stupid thing to be broken. Hubby took my controller and said “no, you’re just facing the wall” and then laughed so hard I thought he would suffocate. Stupid bloody game.

  5. I remember when our son got his xBox. It was brutal learning the controller after the ease of the Nintendo controllers. Not for him – but for me. I did learn though, and you will, too! I ended up practicing quite a bit by myself on easier, child oriented games first (rented).

    • I get that for sure. I was hoping that Santa would bring us Lego Star Wars or something. I just don’t have hours to devote to learning this stuff. Eric used to play with his kids for years, so he’s had plenty of practice. He swears I’ll get it eventually though. Mmm hmmm, doubtful.

  6. Dearest Cheeky,
    Once you have mastered the horde, let me know. I would love to play this game with you online…and kick your ass.

  7. I’m a Left4Dead addict and I chalk my few zombie slaughtering skills to the fact that I grew up with video games. You’re not the only one, trust me.

  8. I can’t keep up in these role playing games either. I like Dragon Quest from the old Nintendo days where my character wanders around fighting other characters & then zips home to “energize” so he can carry on. I used to play this with my daughter who turned 32 yesterday.

    • I used to stomp my kids in Tetris on the Nintendo. But my all time favorite game was Dark Forces for the PC. It’s so old that I can’t find a good way to play it anymore. It’s DOS. :-(

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