Thank you to Jill, at Mind of a Mouse for writing this hilarious post! You may remember, Jill is the one who wrote last week’s fabulous letter, campaigning to get this highly sought after gig.
Hello Cheeky Readers,
For today’s session we are traveling back in time, way back, keep on going… stop! Too far… forward a bit. There. We’ve arrived in 1989! The era of Big Hair and Acid Washed Jeans. A time when Cool kids were Cool and Geeks were Geeks and there was no overlap between.
Picture me, a five-foot nothing, 98 pound weakling, with a secret love of all things Fantasy. Now, being a girl, I could get away with this to an extent. Plus, I was really small, and often overlooked, literally. On second thought, don’t bother picturing it, here’s a real picture instead.
I realize now, of course, that no one was paying attention, (because really – every teenager in the known universe is too busy worrying about themselves to notice the people around them) but I developed a few strategies to hide my geekiness and I will share them with you now. (You never know – Doctor Who might go back to being uncool again, someday.)
1 – I’ve had bad eyesight since I was born – but do you see me wearing glasses in that picture? No. I am also not wearing contacts. They hurt my eyes. (I probably couldn’t see the photographer.) Glasses were a sure Geek indicator. But it is easy to hide that problem by memorizing floor plans and by following other people’s feet. The floors in the school hallways had a blue line that ran along the sides. At every door – the line took a turn into the entrance. All I had to do was keep track of the number of doors to get to the next class. Easy! Who needs glasses?
2 – The sad fact of Fantasy Fiction is that the book-covers are such a dead giveaway to geekdom. They invariably have a Wizard casting a spell or, worse a Dragon, emblazoned there for all the world to see. But I have a solution to that potential embarrassing problem:
3 – Toys and other paraphernalia. Now, most high-schoolers don’t carry toys around with them per se, but there is an obligation to have ‘neat’ things on your person, or in your locker. Personalizing a looker was – and still is – a way of showing who you are to the world (Again, a world which is not really paying attention, but I digress) A popular item in the late 80s was the Troll Doll. But what I liked was pewter Figurines of Wizards.
So what did I do? What would you have done? I bought the darn Troll Dolls, of course, and I left my pewter figurines at home! Duh.
Sessions over! Time to go back to the future. Back to the world where I can read Game of Thrones in public with pride. Where I can have conversations with people about Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica and The Avengers without having to whisper. It is such a good time to be a Geek! I hope it never ends. I really don’t want to go back to walking into walls for the sake of looking cool. :)