The True History Of The Haiku….Or…

The haiku according to El Guapo  

Yes, I have wonderful friends.  The all important, all knowing, all handsome Mr. El Guapowitz took time out of his busy surfing schedule to research and write this post for me.  If you haven’t met him before, he looks like this:

Wipeout

Isn’t he handsome?  Okay, keep reading, see how smart and witty he is. Thanks so much, El Guapo!

**************************************************************

CherryBlossoms

Cheeky Diva loves her Haikus. She appeared with them one day here on the internets.
“Oh my, Cheeky, how bold!” said some.
“Goodness! What a divine art form!” said others.
“I am to be learning so much from bookmarking the pages herein, that I welcome you for the knowledge” said way too many.
“Where the hell are my pants?!?” said- oh wait, that was me.

Anyway, so many seem to think that the haiku is descended from a long tradition of Japanese philosophy.
Cheeky has asked me to provide a history of the haiku for you, so you understand the roots from which she has drawn for her art.

Cavewoman

A time long ago, the first haiku was composed by Groog Urglephbt (later discovered to mean High Forehead Diva) shortly after showing his new invention, the wheel, to a packed cave of spectators:
Round and round it go
Top become bottom again
Now invent drive-in!

So you can see that the haiku is inherent to the human condition. Yes, from the very first, it was intertwined with man’s expressions of accomplishment! But that’s not all.
I refer you next to one of mankind’s greatest achievements. No, not Jiffy Pop (that comes later), but the discovery of farming.
Lets listen in as cultivation is first discovered in Ancient Egypt by Patra Aurelius
(known around the pyramids as “Both Eyes On One Side of Her Face (Like A
Hieroglyph) Diva”).

Stop! In The Name Of Haiku

Stop! In The Name Of Haiku

The camel has dung
The vapors give my beans life
Bangles got nothing on me

(Obviously, the Egyptians (while embracing the form), had yet to grasp the nuances of
the 5-7-5 construction.)

By this point, you would think the Haiku was firmly entrenched in the soul of mankind.
You would be wrong. We fast forward to those dark times know as…well…the
Dark Ages. History records that a small group of holy soldiers struggled against the
decrees of the empire that all verse be written in iambic pentameter.
Led by a brave hero, known to the populace as “Bubonic Diva”, the following verse was
found scribbled on a wall near the sanitarium

Not a real diva

Typhoid Mary,
Not a real diva

This city lives on
Nothing can stop the progress
Hey, is that a rat?

Fast forward, and you’ll find that haiku was even present on the birth of the United States
of America.
This next haiku, recently unearthed from a brothel in Boston (Puritans indeed!) provides
deep insight into the mind of the revolutionary, courtesy of Tricorn Diva:

Johnny Depp, not a woman, but definitely a "Diva"

Johnny Depp, not a woman,
but definitely a “Diva”

Boats burn like candles
At last, we will taste freedom!
Hope it tastes better than tea…

While delving into the history of haiku and unearthing some of the gems of the form, I
couldn’t neglect Japan, thought by many (wrongly) to be the birthplace of the form.

Does this parasol make me look like a diva?

Does this parasol make me look like a diva?

Cherry blossoms fall.
My heart flies away, on wind
Wait, I lost the theme…

Can you feel the depth? The passion and emotion that Kabuki Diva managed to pack into
it?
Yes, I knew you could.

What else is there to say about haiku that hasn’t been crammed into textbooks, style
manuals or blogs?

Only this:
You’re very welcome
This lesson is at an end.
Y’all keep it Cheeky.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what a true Diva looks like.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what a true Diva looks like.


Note On Today’s Music: I don’t think the B-52s ever did haiku.
But they are definitely divas.

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140 thoughts on “The True History Of The Haiku….Or…

  1. Pingback: Nothing to see here… | Guapola

  2. Thanks for guest posting and leading me to her site. This is such a cool place! :) I love that Pirates were included in this history lesson, especially the Johnny type pirate. :) Great job, Guap and hello, Cheeky Diva!

  3. Clearly, I have been underestimating the power of Haiku because I simply didn’t understand the history. Now I’m better.

    And Guap, are you competing with me for control of the internets? What’s this about?

  4. Hahah! Guapo is a funny one, isn’t he? This may be one of my favorite Guapo posts. “Now invent drive-in!” and “The camel has dung,” are both being made into bumper stickers this very minute.
    Grippy

  5. I hope that now, after reading the history of haiku I’ll be able to write one that makes sense or is in fact a haiku and not a rhyme with more words and sylbas.
    One can only hope.
    Good one El Guapo, and hello Diva!

    • Well, if you stop by here tomorrow and leave a haiku, know that I don’t really have much respect for rules. All are graded on participation. Rhyme, not rhyme, 5-7-5 or not, I don’t care, everybody’s input is welcome. Of course, the sillier the better. I always start off with a topic for inspiration, a few fun pictures and then a few really cringeworthy and embarrassing poems. Readers always jump in with either poems or just comments. It’s great fun! Especially if you take a few minutes to soak your head in a bucket of grain alcohol first. Please plan to join the festivities!

    • The beauty of the internet is that you can create your own wikipedia Haiku entry with whatever rules you want, Doggy.
      Then when someone complains about your writing, just refer them to teh page.
      “Of course it’s right. It’s in Wikipedia!”

  6. The multi-talented Guapuki, kills it again! Love this post, Guap, and nice blog Cheeky Diva! Hey, is that a rat… so clever. Thanks for makin’ me smile! xLaura

  7. Hey Miss Diva!! Happy to poke around here this morning!! ((Thanks to Guapo for the lead…)) But I was headed your way to do some reading anyway!! I’ve always loved the sweet simplicity of the Haiku.. and the challenge to put big meaning into such few words… XOXO have a Diva Day!! :) ~ Jen

      • Do it every Thursday. If I can. Hope I have time tonight. I’m in the midst of a mad Twitter phenom that I accidentally created for my other blog, the one I write for someone else. Oops.

      • Girl.. you are everywhere!! I think that is so awesome!! I have Tryst, which has a small community, not near the followers you have. But I love each abd every one of my Tryst family very much!! ((I also have 2 other blog proj. in the works.. Soulshine and Soul Grafitti..)) I think it’s so great that you work so hard and put so much into your networks!! You really inspire me and I’m honored to have connected with you!! I think you rock!! XOXO

        Oh, I have 3 haiku’s picked out for tomorrow!! You will let me know where I’m suppesed to post them, right? :)

      • Grr! Had written you a long comment, and it disappeared! I hate that. As for my network, I blog and tweet for Just Unfollow, and I had posted a question yesterday for input for a blog post I’m working on. Then JU retweeted it today to their half a million tweeps. YIKES! So, for the last couple of hours, I’ve been reading and answering the replies. They have built my network for me, as they put me on their home page for the last week or so.

      • That is so great!! Like I said, I have few followers but I love them all!! I believe I joined up with Unfollow per your request on Twitter..I will have to check on that. I’d like to know how to expand and get more followers.. or is it just how super awesome you are and how far you are reached..? Hmmmm? I wonder?? I bet you are very busy with all your comments! Makes me feel quite special that I get to chat with you too!!

      • I had a fair amount of followers before, I’ve had this blog since last July. People just like a silly person who isn’t afraid to say exactly what they think. I try to follow a lot of people who seem to have a blend of serious and funny i their personality. That way I never know quite what to expect. Sometimes a great article, a beautiful poem, or something that just makes me laugh my butt off. I think the best way to get followers is to start following others, in your blog or your twitter, and interact with them. Leave positive comments, share their work with those you think would like it, etc.

        I forgot to tell you where to dump your haikus! Er Dee Der! I’ll post my haiku post around 7 in the morning tomorrow, so just drop by here and leave your brilliant 575’s in the comments.

        I suppose I should go write it, shouldn’t I?

  8. My mind cannot wrap itself around this. This is like two of my favorite people got… Photoshopped together, then thrown in a blender, and then had a love child. Pardon me while I pick my brain up off the floor.

  9. A fascinating voyage through the history of Haiku. I particularly loved the stroll through the plague (you knew I would). The line ‘Hey, is that a rat?’ is no doubt in the Haiku Hall of Fame. I know it’s my favorite.

    Great post!

  10. Zannyro and more
    I see many known faces here
    How missed you?

    That sucks as I prefer limericks.

    Thanks Guapo for putting the influence of Suzanna Hoffs in historical context.

  11. A history of haiku made up by el Guap never read so good! Is that a Haiku? You are wealth of misinformation that I admire with all my heart! I think that’s a Haiku for sure,don’t you? You are a wizard Guap. I kid you not! Now that must be a Haiku surely! I know I know don’t call you Surely. Haiku possibly? Let’s let the Cheeky Diva decide!

  12. Of course I show up after the lights are out and the doors are locked, but I came in through a window in the back for the haiku history lesson. El Guapo, you are not only the handsome one, you are a good teacher. I’m especially fond of the Dark Ages era and the rats.

  13. Pingback: Thursday Haiku Madness!~The Truth Hurts!!!!! | The Cheeky Diva

  14. Cheeky, you said to drop by and post my Hai’s here, right? Guapo.. can you hear me?? I’m trying to play with you guys and offer up some original silly Haiku’s from my massive collection of written work… so, here are some to ponder:

    I walk to the road
    I look twice before I cross
    Much the same in life…

    Wintery ice blue
    Frozen lake, snow all around
    The quiet landscape

    ((I don’t see many other Haiku’s up there… oh well. Solo haiku’s are cool too!!))
    :) Jen @ Tryst

  15. Pingback: An Ode To The Cheeky In All Of Us… | The Cheeky Diva

  16. Pingback: Thursday Haiku Madness~ Better Late Than Never…right? | The Cheeky Diva

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