The haiku according to El Guapo
Yes, I have wonderful friends. The all important, all knowing, all handsome Mr. El Guapowitz took time out of his busy surfing schedule to research and write this post for me. If you haven’t met him before, he looks like this:
Isn’t he handsome? Okay, keep reading, see how smart and witty he is. Thanks so much, El Guapo!
Cheeky Diva loves her Haikus. She appeared with them one day here on the internets.
“Oh my, Cheeky, how bold!” said some.
“Goodness! What a divine art form!” said others.
“I am to be learning so much from bookmarking the pages herein, that I welcome you for the knowledge” said way too many.
“Where the hell are my pants?!?” said- oh wait, that was me.
Anyway, so many seem to think that the haiku is descended from a long tradition of Japanese philosophy.
Cheeky has asked me to provide a history of the haiku for you, so you understand the roots from which she has drawn for her art.
A time long ago, the first haiku was composed by Groog Urglephbt (later discovered to mean High Forehead Diva) shortly after showing his new invention, the wheel, to a packed cave of spectators:
Round and round it go
Top become bottom again
Now invent drive-in!
So you can see that the haiku is inherent to the human condition. Yes, from the very first, it was intertwined with man’s expressions of accomplishment! But that’s not all.
I refer you next to one of mankind’s greatest achievements. No, not Jiffy Pop (that comes later), but the discovery of farming.
Lets listen in as cultivation is first discovered in Ancient Egypt by Patra Aurelius
(known around the pyramids as “Both Eyes On One Side of Her Face (Like A
The camel has dung
The vapors give my beans life
Bangles got nothing on me
(Obviously, the Egyptians (while embracing the form), had yet to grasp the nuances of
the 5-7-5 construction.)
By this point, you would think the Haiku was firmly entrenched in the soul of mankind.
You would be wrong. We fast forward to those dark times know as…well…the
Dark Ages. History records that a small group of holy soldiers struggled against the
decrees of the empire that all verse be written in iambic pentameter.
Led by a brave hero, known to the populace as “Bubonic Diva”, the following verse was
found scribbled on a wall near the sanitarium
This city lives on
Nothing can stop the progress
Hey, is that a rat?
Fast forward, and you’ll find that haiku was even present on the birth of the United States
This next haiku, recently unearthed from a brothel in Boston (Puritans indeed!) provides
deep insight into the mind of the revolutionary, courtesy of Tricorn Diva:
Boats burn like candles
At last, we will taste freedom!
Hope it tastes better than tea…
While delving into the history of haiku and unearthing some of the gems of the form, I
couldn’t neglect Japan, thought by many (wrongly) to be the birthplace of the form.
Cherry blossoms fall.
My heart flies away, on wind
Wait, I lost the theme…
Can you feel the depth? The passion and emotion that Kabuki Diva managed to pack into
Yes, I knew you could.
What else is there to say about haiku that hasn’t been crammed into textbooks, style
manuals or blogs?
You’re very welcome
This lesson is at an end.
Y’all keep it Cheeky.
Note On Today’s Music: I don’t think the B-52s ever did haiku.
But they are definitely divas.