You’re stranded in a foreign city for a day with no money and no friends. What do you do?
I know I haven’t done the daily prompt for a while, but this one was just too good to pass up! Some folks might cower in fear at the prospect of this scenario, but not me.
Being stranded like this would force anyone to stretch their survival skills. Am I right? For me, I would use all three of my super powers to get out of this mess~
1. My creativity
2. My charming personality
3. My horrific singing voice
I would put these to work with just a couple of found items~
1. A piece of cardboard
2. A bucket
“How, pray tell, fair Diva, would you use those things to survive all alone in a strange land?”
Well, let’s just set the stage, shall we?
I work in a crummy office, and sit at a desk all day. I hardly get a chance to charm and dazzle people with my wit.
Then one day, a tragically hot man in uniform comes in to where I work. It’s love at first sight.
We share a thrilling whirlwind romance! Jet setting all over the place. We can hardly escape the paparazzi!
We get married, and go far, far away for a honeymoon. This is really the first time we’ve spent a lot of time together.
After just a few days, my annoying personality starts to get the better of him, so he decides to ditch me and head for home to start divorce proceedings. Leaving me all alone in a foreign land to fend for myself. I’m heartbroken.
Mr. Cheeky seems to have snuck away with all of my cash, traveler’s checks and credit cards. I need to find a way to make some quick bucks so I can get home to kick Mr. Cheeky’s teeth out.
Once the shock of being dumped wears off, I get angry. The wheels start turning. How do I get myself out of this? What can I do to make just enough money to get back home? Who the hell is that creepy girl leering over my shoulder? In my younger days, I used to be quite the singer. I can use this to get me back home. (I didn’t say good, I just said “quite the”)
I go to a place that I think is the most likely to find someone who speaks the local language as well as English to ask for help. I ask for a big piece of cardboard and I write a message on it. The kind stranger writes the same message in their native tongue. I then ask for a bucket.
I head to the busiest place in town, set down my bucket, hold up my sign, and start belting out some show tunes at the top of my polyester clad lungs. My sign says:
AS SOON AS THE BUCKET IS FULL OF MONEY, I’LL STOP SINGING
As you can imagine, that bucket is overflowing with cash in short order. Mr. Cheeky has no idea what’s in store for him, as he’s already making plans with someone else. Little does he know, he’s about to get his comeuppance.
Within a few hours, I am headed home and I am ready to give him what for. I’ve even dressed for the occasion.
Poor Mr. Cheeky. I’ll teach him to rue the day he tried to get rid of me. Serious rue-age.
After some really hard soul searching, and a sock in the nose, Mr. Cheeky realizes the error of his ways.
“And they lived happily ever after”
~In reality, the marriage of Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman was one of Hollywood’s shortest. They were married on June 27th, 1964, and divorced on July 28th of the same year, just 32 days later.~