The Epic Pound Cake Poem

perfect bundt cake

Beautiful pound cake, oh thee I adore

When I bake you and dress you, with my guests I will score

Your heavenly scent fills the house as you cook

Do I dare open the oven door for a look? 

*****

The longest 75 minutes I wait for your birth

But when you emerge, my soul fills with mirth

How lovely you look, so fluffy and light

Soon you’ll be free from your pan and bring me delight

*****

Burnt-Sugar-Bundt-Cake-5

You appear  a bit stubborn, you coy little jewel

It seems for your removal, I have not the tool

Nor the patience or strength

To achieve this task I must go to great length

*****

Are you painfully shy or just evil incarnate? 

To stay in that pan like a recalcitrant varmint

Just what is your problem, you monstrous thing?

I thought you loved me, you made my heart sing

ruined bundt cake

After scraping and digging, you finally came out

“Just look at this nightmare!” In the kitchen I shout

My wailing falls on deaf ears, but I know you’re listening

Bane of my existence, the black of your soul is glistening

*****

Company’s coming, my lemon laced foe

I’ll find a way ’round this, you forget I’m a pro

The battle you’ve won, but surely not the war

With some fancy footwork, I’ll give you what for 

*****

I cut you to pieces, and with berries I toss

you in a darling little dish and show you who’s boss

A sweet tangy glaze, and a flourish of whipped cream

Now my nightmare cake is the dessert of wild dreams

pound cake parfait

My husband so proud, my guests doubly thrilled

  But you?..you’re about to get grilled

Listen here cake, don’t mess with me again

Lemon pound cake french toast is my new best friend.

pound cake french toast

*****

FIN

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25 thoughts on “The Epic Pound Cake Poem

    • Thank you! Bad poems, not bundt cakes, are my specialty. Not hard to find pics of this problem on Google. Actually, mine didn’t look quite as bad as this one, but it sure made me mad. This all happened last Saturday, and OMG~ Lemon poundcake french toast is absolutely shameful it’s so yummy! :-)

    • I had never tried it before but wow was it good. I make my french toast extra special. Instead of just milk and egg, I use cream, orange juice, a little cinnamon, vanilla and powdered sugar. It makes even boring old bread yummy, but when used with pound cake instead, it forms a really yummy crust. It doesn’t soak in and get soggy. I’m sure it’s fattening as hell, but one slice every year or so isn’t gonna kill me, right?
      ;-)

  1. Wow! Brilliant Save! =) I’m going to share this with my domestic sister. (The last time I baked a cake was back when checks had the number ’19’ written for you in the date field. (Back when people still wrote checks.))

  2. The Steaks Were
    Quite Tasty
    The Potatoes
    Just Right
    But The Berry Tossed Pound Cake
    Exploded The Taste Buds
    On That Magical Night.

  3. Oh my gosh! That is so funny, I laughed out loud in my room by myself, and I don’t laugh out loud at anything when I’m alone. That was some pretty great poetry, and I felt your pain. Stupid cake. But I’m glad you won the battle. :-)

  4. this poem is just so funny and loving all at the same time!! cakes can be stubborn and very unpredictable..thankfully, most of my cakes seem to turn out quite docile in the end! hah! hey know “who’s the boss”! :D

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